91短视频

By Lauren Jefferson | May 24th, 2016

鈥� our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
~ Romans 8:18

Eric Payne never set out to earn a master鈥檚 degree in education, which he received in May 2016 at 91短视频. Among the many ways he identifies himself 鈥� father, husband, special education teacher, basketball coach 鈥� Eric Payne, holder of a graduate degree, hasn鈥檛 quite sunk in yet.

His mother, Rosetta Harris Payne, would have been proud, Payne says. When he was born in May 1963, just three months before Martin Luther King, Jr.鈥檚 鈥淚 Have A Dream鈥� speech, she was a senior at the segregated Central Augusta High School in Augusta County Virginia. Payne still has her notebook from English class.

鈥淚 read what she鈥檚 written and she was clearly, clearly so very smart,鈥� he said. 鈥淚鈥檝e always compared myself to her. I鈥檝e always struggled and I鈥檝e never been an A student.鈥�

His great-grandmother Mamie Jones Rhodes, too, would have been just as proud. She raised little Eric until she passed away before the start of his eighth-grade year.

As easy as studies came to his mother, it鈥檚 been a long, hard road for her son. Any graduate student who takes classes one at a time, who balances family and work responsibilities, will say the journey to graduation is grueling. But for Payne, the obstacles in this years-long process are of Job-like proportion; his story reflects as much on his own character as it does on the institution of 91短视频, what it currently is and what it strives to become.

Turned Away

Payne, a native of Waynesboro, Virginia, first set foot on the 91短视频 campus almost 30 years ago. Initially, he came to play basketball and earn a bachelor鈥檚 degree, 鈥渁nd then I could say I had conquered the world.鈥�

Payne didn鈥檛 conquer the world at 91短视频. In fact, he didn鈥檛 come close. He was one of a handful of black students on campus who quickly shared their feelings of isolation and alienation. They started a support group, the precursor to today鈥檚 Black Student Union.

There were no black professors to ease the transition into this very white world: Dr. Abraham Davis, director of the first Multicultural Student Center and an English professor, had left the previous year. Payne, who eventually met Davis, says a mentor such as Davis would have been invaluable.

鈥淭hat鈥檚 what I needed. To understand, to survive 鈥� If we had a black professor on campus then, yeah, that would have made a difference. We could rap about it, talk about it, break it down 鈥� He would have said, ‘Here鈥檚 what you need to do.鈥欌��

In a time when few academic support services were available, Payne failed his first semester. The Admissions Committee asked him to leave. He appealed and got a second chance. He worked hard. But it wasn鈥檛 enough. In April 1987, he received another letter, suggesting that he go elsewhere, perhaps 鈥渢o Blue Ridge Community College, which can provide you with good learning assistance in a specialized vocation [which] will provide you with a better opportunity to succeed.鈥�

When Payne reads that sentence out loud, the word vocation sticks in his throat, laden with historic, negative connotations. 鈥淎 vocation is what they used to tell black people to discourage them from going to college,鈥� he says. 鈥淚 was told to go get a trade.鈥�

Coming Back

Payne did not appeal again to 91短视频. He went to Blue Ridge, then transferred to James Madison University (JMU). His mother died in 1994. Payne took a leave of absence to grieve. He liked JMU, where he felt respected and supported by professors: 鈥淓ven though I struggled, they never told me I should do something else.鈥� He drove buses for the athletic department while earning a degree in health education. He kept attending a local Mennonite church, and got married.

For the next 15 years, he drove trucks, eventually owning his own short-haul trucking company. Then a divorce knocked him off his feet. Time on the road made it hard to see his two sons. He started working out at the 91短视频 fitness center, playing a little basketball for something to do in the gym. That鈥檚 how the coaching started, in 2003 with then-head coach Richard McElwee, which led to his second career.

Head women鈥檚 basketball coach Kevin Griffin ’93, MA ’16 (education) has known Payne for 11 years. 鈥淚 met him on the phone before I took the job at 91短视频, long before I got here,鈥� Griffin says. On Griffin鈥檚 staff, Payne now works with the post players, keeps statistics during games, does some recruiting, and is often tapped for pre-game devotionals. This last season, he drove the team bus when the usual driver became ill.

Griffin says Payne quickly builds rapport with players. 鈥淗e gives this real positive vibe and energy to whatever group he is working with 鈥� he鈥檚 the first guy to hand you water, to pick you up. He鈥檒l tell you what you鈥檙e doing wrong in a kind, gentle way. He鈥檚 very good one-on-one with athletes.鈥�

Like all of Griffin鈥檚 assistant coaches, Payne cares just as much about what happens outside the gym: grades, friendships, cars with dead batteries. And the skills he teaches on the court live large off the court.

Here鈥檚 junior post player Johnae Guest: When I think of Coach Payne, I think of toughness and perseverance. He taught us how to be strong and never give up, that when we have the ball in our hands, nobody should take it from us.

Her teammate, Jess Rheinheimer, says: He always asks 鈥淲hat did you do on your day off to make yourself better today?鈥� This motivated me to come in on my day off to make myself better because I wanted to make sure I had an answer when he asked me 鈥� He鈥檚 also a huge motivator for everyone with his signature catch phrase, 鈥淕et your mind right.鈥� 听

In his first few years of coaching, Payne found he enjoyed the recruiting duties that took him into schools. After obtaining a provisional license, he worked as a behavioral specialist and began chipping away at the coursework required for licensure.

Don Steiner, former chair of the graduate teacher education program, supported Payne through independent study classes when Payne鈥檚 work schedule didn鈥檛 allow for attendance in regular classes and as Payne worked through rigorous state licensure requirements (Virginia鈥檚 required test scores are some of the highest in the nation).

Payne was tenacious, dedicated and grateful for the help, a model learner, Steiner recalls years later during an interview in which he learned that his former student is about to finish his master鈥檚 degree.

鈥淧erseverance is the word I鈥檇 use to describe Eric,鈥� Steiner said. 鈥淗e was coachable and he listened and he worked hard and made incredible progress. He could have given up any number of times.鈥�

Teaching To Make An Impact

Now Eric Payne teaches special education at Fort Defiance High School. 鈥淲hen I see my students struggling, I understand they are trying to do the best they can with their limitations,鈥� he says. Sometimes he shares his own experiences. More rarely, he shares the letter he received from 91短视频 years ago.

Payne says the effect of the letter that shut the door to an undergraduate education at 91短视频, urging him to pursue a specialized vocation, was 鈥渄evastating.鈥� Being told he didn鈥檛 belong caused him to question, for a few years, who Christians are and what they believe in.

Payne can now see his younger self as clearly as if the basketball-obsessed youth was one of his current students. He sees a kid who struggles to keep up in the classroom, who tries hard but just can鈥檛 get the grades, who lacks the academic language and fluency that are prerequisites for college success, who has a learning disability and struggles with depression.

Payne sits inside his role of a teacher and he tells the kid the honest truth: 鈥淪on,鈥� he says to his younger self, 鈥淚 don鈥檛 know. Seeing what I see here, knowing what I know about you, you might need to think about something else other than college.鈥�

Even Eric Payne telling his younger self this doesn鈥檛 really sooth hurt feelings. Rationality is one thing. Rejection is another.

One more thing sticks in his throat about being advised to leave 91短视频 and learn a trade: 鈥淚f they really knew me, they would have known that I had tried that. In fact, I鈥檇 tried it twice,鈥� Payne says.

In high school, he had taken classes in automechanics. After graduation, he worked for four years at the Hershey plant in Stuarts Draft.

He was 23 when he left his high-paying factory job. People who knew him thought he was crazy.

Payne remembers he was eating a bowl of Wheaties when he broke the news at the breakfast table to his uncle, with whom he鈥檇 lived after his great-grandmother died.

鈥淎re you sure you know what you鈥檙e doing?鈥� said Minister T.E. Payne.

鈥淵es, sir,鈥� Payne said.

鈥淚f you need anything, let me know,鈥� his uncle said.

No family member had ever gone to college before. One friend told him he was too old to change his career. His only encouragement came from 鈥渁n old white lady named Hazel who told me once, 鈥楽on, you have plenty of time to work in a factory. Get out of here.鈥欌��

This is what he wished someone at 91短视频 had realized: Twenty-three-year-old Eric Payne wanted more. He might not have known exactly what he wanted or how to get there or how to navigate a completely different culture of white, Mennonite academia. But he did know he wanted more.

As for the grades, his academic failures, Payne gets that: 鈥淚 can see this situation like they were seeing it. I鈥檓 a teacher and I know when a student isn鈥檛 ready. I can see why they made the decisions they did 鈥� but still鈥︹��

That phrase 鈥渂ut still鈥� is crucial to Payne鈥檚 being as a teacher and coach, to the man he鈥檚 become through these experiences. The 鈥渂ut still鈥� is everything.

I may not have all the skills, but still you can teach me. I may not know what to do or how to act, but still I can learn. I may not be perfect now or ever, but still here I am. You may not know me, but still, you can listen and learn from me.

Many Blessings

At one point in hours of conversation that led to this article, Payne is asked, 鈥淲hy are you so loyal to this place?鈥�

The answer comes quickly: 鈥淚 guess I鈥檓 here because I think I can still make an impact with students, to help them. And the church, too, I guess. I thought I could be a part of some change.鈥�

Though 91短视频 is much more diverse than in the late ’80s 鈥� about 37 percent of students are now ethnic minorities or from other countries 鈥� Payne has advised and mentored current 91短视频 students who feel as isolated as he did years ago. He shares what he knows, empathizes with them, interprets across cultures, offers strategies for success.

He also feels called, though his calling isn鈥檛 clear. Telling the story of his life unearths moments of complete consternation. His path has never been easy or simple: he awaits the next challenge with foreboding and resignation. 鈥淪ometimes, I ask 鈥榃hy is this happening to me?鈥� Everything I try to do is hard, takes time, obstacles come up,鈥� he admits. This strong, vibrant man sometimes despairs.

Despite these depths, though, Payne believes in blessings. It does not take long for the man, slumped in his chair, to lift his head.

He reminds himself: 鈥淭he Lord saw all this before I even got there.鈥�

He says: 鈥淭he world keeps on trying to stop me but God has a bigger plan. Some people hear parts of my story and they wonder why? How I keep going on. It鈥檚 God. It鈥檚 not me. I tell that to people, 鈥業t鈥檚 not you, it has nothing to do with you, it鈥檚 a blessing.鈥� And I have to keep on saying that. Some of it is me, but this life is bigger than me. When I get down, when the next thing comes around that gets in my way, I think about how far I鈥檝e come and how far God has brought me. There鈥檚 a reason. I don鈥檛 know what it is and that鈥檚 OK. This has to go forward. When it鈥檚 a God thing, it has to go forward.鈥�

Then he laughs. 鈥淭he journey begins.鈥� Each day, anew.

With grace, he continues to include 91短视频 in that journey.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
~Romans 8:28

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IN RESPONSE

I am grateful to Eric for his transparency and ongoing commitment to 91短视频.听 I know we can learn from his story and other stories like his. We welcome sharing from alumni who can help in our ongoing efforts to become a more welcoming and supportive community for people of all racial, ethnic and socio-economic backgrounds. Part of this work includes acknowledgement and grieving of past painful experiences, misconceptions and lost opportunities. Our strategic plan includes specific hiring targets for creating a more diverse faculty and staff, and calls for additional resources to be allocated for faculty development to support the success of an increasingly diverse student body.听 Currently, a special Diversity Task Force made up of faculty, staff and students is conducting research and producing recommendations for enhancing 91短视频 as a welcoming and supportive community of learning for all.

鈥斕鼺red Kniss, Provost